Not Allowed To Give Up

At a Bible study the other day, conversation shifted (as it sometimes will when a bunch of ladies get together over a table with coffee) to the subject of families.

  As all families go, even those who follow GOD, we all know people who struggle in life and who have stirred the drama pot.  Alcohol, drugs, abuse, greed, selfishness, manipulations...the list could go on for a while.  The question arose 'When do we just give up on them?'  My quick answer was 'We don't.  We aren't allowed to.'

I went on to explain a little.  Of course, GOD gives us a choice to obey HIM or not.  When HE says pray, we can say no.  When HE says forgive, we can say not yet.  After all, we are all works in progress and I know I don't give HIM the perfect response every time.  But I know HE never gave up on me.  Therefore I don't feel I have the right to give up on anyone else either.

So we read 1 Timothy 1.  The very last verse talks about turning two men over to satan so they may learn a lesson.  The ladies said, 'So we have an example of letting them go.'  I couldn't deny it. 

I see the benefit of letting go.  It can be a battle to keep hurtful loved ones close.  It can be expensive in many ways, not just to the pocketbooks, but to the emotions, to rest, to peace.  Letting them go down the path of their choice puts them in a place where they have to face the consequences of their own decisions on their own.  Sometimes walking through the fire can do more to fix a person than being rescued from the flames.  I get that.

But that isn't the same as giving up on them.  Here's an example from my own life:

My father-in-law has been in and out of our lives for my whole marriage (nearly 17 years).  For the last four, he was out because he asked to be.  It was a hurtful parting, he wasn't very nice about it, and I let go.  I took my husband's lead and said fine, we will live without him, we don't need the drama anyway.  The difference came two weeks ago when he called asking for forgiveness.  I had given up and didn't trust that he was genuinely changed by GOD.  My husband never gave up and has taken the open door to reconciliation.

By never giving up, we remain hopeful to the move of GOD's hand and open to accept it when it comes.  Giving up is a complete writing off of the power of GOD to change people and circumstances.

I found my answer in 1 Timothy 2.  The first verse, the one that comes right after it talks about giving them over to satan, says to pray for all men.  We let go so they can learn and we can have peace, but we can keep praying for GOD to move.

So my advice:  never give up.  Let go if necessary, but never give up.