So, I haven't had a great start to my determined self-discipline. Seems like for every baby step forward, I have three trips that make me stumble back. No one said it would be easy, but I figured since they were such small things, I would be able to pull it off without a hitch. Not so much! I wrote all about it in my other blog, thinking I could just copy and paste it here. Guess they have protections against doing that - I couldn't get it to work. But here is the link:
http://www.waxmom23.wordpress.com
So to sum up the process so far - UGGHHH!!!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Dirty Discipline
UGGHH! Discipline has reared its head again! Being a disciple means discipline, but seriously, aren't I doing well enough to pass the "she's a good person" test? If I'm gonna be honest (and good people need to be) I would have to say no. Surprised? I fall short in several areas, but the common theme in all of my shortcomings is laziness (aka lack of discipline). UUUGGGHHH again!
But this week I made a step in the right direction - I joined an accountability team at my church. Now I may still be weak, but hopefully having to share the depth of my failures will motivate me to fail less. And when I do struggle, hopefully their cheering and encouragement (and tough love, I'm sure) will help me strive to get over the hump of the huge rut I'm in.
It's not good to be alone. Not for too long anyway. Jesus surrounded HIMself with men (who also had faults, by the way) and Paul encourages believers to be sure meet with each other regularly. Then there's the whole "cord of three won't break" idea. We are stronger together. We can be better together. So where did the strong loner idea get such a foothold in my life?
I like my alone time. I love to meditate on GOD's Word without interruption and write my poems without the input or distraction of others. I even enjoy the quiet silence of a rainy day. I like to stay home and not have to go anywhere. But where does that all lead - look how each sentence started (I, I, I, I...) see where I'm going? When you are your only company, then only your opinion matters and your entire world circles around self. Not a good state of being. But when we meet with others we allow them to shape us, we allow their ideas to challenge us, and their iron sharpens ours.
This is where the discipline comes in. It's not easy to let others shape what we selfishly think is fine (just ask any personal trainer!) But GOD did not create us to be stagnant creatures. And it isn't easy for us to get up for something we know will not feel good. But ask Jesus how it felt when HE didn't want to be on the cross. HE would still say it was worth it. (Billions of times over it was worth it! It was worth it for each individual!)
So I guess this was my pep talk. I'm kicking my butt into gear with these words. And my first accountability team meeting will be coming up soon. UGGH! But I will do this and I will be better for it! (Hmmm...an act of will....)
But this week I made a step in the right direction - I joined an accountability team at my church. Now I may still be weak, but hopefully having to share the depth of my failures will motivate me to fail less. And when I do struggle, hopefully their cheering and encouragement (and tough love, I'm sure) will help me strive to get over the hump of the huge rut I'm in.
It's not good to be alone. Not for too long anyway. Jesus surrounded HIMself with men (who also had faults, by the way) and Paul encourages believers to be sure meet with each other regularly. Then there's the whole "cord of three won't break" idea. We are stronger together. We can be better together. So where did the strong loner idea get such a foothold in my life?
I like my alone time. I love to meditate on GOD's Word without interruption and write my poems without the input or distraction of others. I even enjoy the quiet silence of a rainy day. I like to stay home and not have to go anywhere. But where does that all lead - look how each sentence started (I, I, I, I...) see where I'm going? When you are your only company, then only your opinion matters and your entire world circles around self. Not a good state of being. But when we meet with others we allow them to shape us, we allow their ideas to challenge us, and their iron sharpens ours.
This is where the discipline comes in. It's not easy to let others shape what we selfishly think is fine (just ask any personal trainer!) But GOD did not create us to be stagnant creatures. And it isn't easy for us to get up for something we know will not feel good. But ask Jesus how it felt when HE didn't want to be on the cross. HE would still say it was worth it. (Billions of times over it was worth it! It was worth it for each individual!)
So I guess this was my pep talk. I'm kicking my butt into gear with these words. And my first accountability team meeting will be coming up soon. UGGH! But I will do this and I will be better for it! (Hmmm...an act of will....)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
GOD redefined
Don't let the title fool you - I am absolutely a Bible believing Christian and weigh the teachings I hear against the Word before I accept a new idea. I'm just fastidious that way. But last night I heard a concept that I suppose I had an brief inkling of but never fully pondered or examined to any extent. But it has stretched my thinking in a wonderful way about my Maker.
GOD, the Father of creation, formed the earth and everything in it in HIS womb. HE bounces us on HIS maternal knee. HE protects us like a mother. Yes, it's true...GOD the Father can also be seen as GOD the Mother. Now I know that GOD technically has no gender, but HE is always referred to as a male, a father figure. But HE is the one who formed us; it was HIS labor that gave us life. HE delivered us here. HE holds us, comforts us, teaches us, and has all those motherly traits.
It makes sense - after all, we, male and female, were made in the image and likeness of GOD. Since we are not all male, then it follows that somewhere in all that GOD is are those female traits. Yes GOD is spirit and has no physical gender assignations. He transcends, and yet includes, both male and female. (Thank you Nooma!)
So GOD is more than we give HIM credit for. I've known that our image of GOD is influenced and shaped by our relationships/images of our earthly fathers, but has my view of my mom shaped how I see and relate to GOD? Not shaped how I see HIM so much, but she is the reason I know GOD, she laid my spiritual foundation. Moms have a definite influence on how we relate to GOD. I just never really thought about it until now.
So what does this information mean to me now? I think it can help shape (broaden and expand) my view of GOD. There will be fewer limits to who HE is. And with more understanding, there will come a closer relationship.
GOD, the Father of creation, formed the earth and everything in it in HIS womb. HE bounces us on HIS maternal knee. HE protects us like a mother. Yes, it's true...GOD the Father can also be seen as GOD the Mother. Now I know that GOD technically has no gender, but HE is always referred to as a male, a father figure. But HE is the one who formed us; it was HIS labor that gave us life. HE delivered us here. HE holds us, comforts us, teaches us, and has all those motherly traits.
It makes sense - after all, we, male and female, were made in the image and likeness of GOD. Since we are not all male, then it follows that somewhere in all that GOD is are those female traits. Yes GOD is spirit and has no physical gender assignations. He transcends, and yet includes, both male and female. (Thank you Nooma!)
So GOD is more than we give HIM credit for. I've known that our image of GOD is influenced and shaped by our relationships/images of our earthly fathers, but has my view of my mom shaped how I see and relate to GOD? Not shaped how I see HIM so much, but she is the reason I know GOD, she laid my spiritual foundation. Moms have a definite influence on how we relate to GOD. I just never really thought about it until now.
So what does this information mean to me now? I think it can help shape (broaden and expand) my view of GOD. There will be fewer limits to who HE is. And with more understanding, there will come a closer relationship.
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