I Blame Eve...

Through the generations, we've all shaken our heads at the way things are and wondered why. I can remember asking my mom as a four year old who didn't want meatloaf for dinner, "Why do we have to eat?" My mother's reply?..."Because Eve chose to eat an apple and now we all have to eat things we don't want." That may not be theologically sound, but when my daughter refused to put on her jammies and reminded me that Eve was naked in the garden, I had to carry on the blame game..."She ate the apple, honey, and now we all have to wear clothes." It started the process in my life of blaming Eve for pretty much everything I had no control over.

 And then I saw this book by Susanna Foth Aughtmon...'I Blame Eve: Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes' and I knew she was reading my mail. I had already found her blog and fallen in love with her writing style. (Check out 'Confessions of a Tired Supergirl' and you'll see exactly what I mean.) But when I saw her book and what it was about, it brought to mind all of those conversations like the ones I mentioned before in which I blamed Eve for everything from eating and wearing clothes to cramps and pain in labor and (if I'm being honest) even my husband's (few) occasions of not listening to me. (Yes honey, I am a blessed woman, it has only been a few.)

 Heartfelt and endearing, Susanna opens my eyes to a new perspective of Eve and I may be more like her than I imagined. I want things. I have dreams and goals for my life. I have made plans for how I will get there. And I have had most of those plans go horribly awry. GOD has better plans, and I, like my umpteen-greats grandma Eve, thought I could hurry them along or do it my way, without depending on GOD. How easy it would be for me, having read this book and gained new understanding, to bite the apple if I thought I could know as much as GOD and have an actual peer to peer conversation with HIM. Kinda Like this..."GOD, that waiting thing doesn't make any sense. You want it for them, they want it, just give it to them already!" To which He would reply, "Of course, you're right! What was I thinking?" Yeah, that would be my apple! (You can say it...impatient much?)

But with poetry of words and spirit, Susanna sums up the real result of Eve's dissatisfaction with her life and her desire for equality with GOD. "With one bite, everything that was good and right in Eve's life began to break down. Every aspect of her heart, soul, mind, and body was affected by the choice she made. ... Every corner of her life became less than it was created to be as sin seeped in, coloring the edges and hardening the corners. ... There would now be pain where there had never been pain before, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is the legacy that is handed down to us." She traded unity with GOD for what she thought would be equality, an ability to take control for herself. It leaves you mourning for our dear sister, who was no more or less a woman than we are today.

Thankfully, Susanna doesn't leave it there. With personal examples and poignant perspective, she gives practical solutions for letting go and surrendering to GOD's plan of grace and forgiveness. I recommend this book for any and all women everywhere. It will open eyes and change perspectives, allowing for the ability to let go of the pressures to perform. I may still blame Eve the next time I get hormonally weepy at a commercial, but I will know the freedom that allows me to let go of the need to get in GOD's way when HE needs my tears for something else.

Be sure to check out Susanna's blog too!

www.tiredsupergirl.blogspot.com

Old Pictures

I was looking at my baby on his birthday and wondered where the time has gone (he turned 10)! I know I still baby him in small ways that I shouldn't, like finishing his chores when they get halfway done and then forgotten, but I can't seem to let go of mothering him.

There's something about knowing a person for years that can make it really difficult to allow them to change. That can work for the good in some ways, like I don't even notice my husband's increasing grays (he tells me they are there, but I really don't notice them), but I think this easy acceptance mostly hurts relationships.

I think of the person I was 10 years ago and believe me, I thank GOD I am no longer that person! I am wiser, more confident, and more experienced than I was then and I wouldn't want to go back for anything (even for the 50 fewer pounds, before the pregnancy). But sometimes I think people still see that young woman and expect less from me than I can really offer. Then I deliver less and how can I live up to the fullness of my potential that way?

It can work the other way too, with my own perspective skewed. I especially see this with the teens I work with. The teenager is so suddenly different from who they were just a year ago, with different drives, different goals, different friends, different emotions (and different bodies!) that it can be nearly impossible to keep up with the changes. Not only that, but parents can get reminiscent and desire to keep their little ones little. (Perhaps with persistent mothering...) They fail to see the changes that occur. My dad carried a picture of me when I was three until I was a senior in high school. (I think I was the one who finally took it out!)

So carrying an old mental photograph of someone doesn't allow them room to grow or to be different from who they used to be. It can work in salvation too. When someone belongs to Jesus, all of a sudden they are new, all the old is gone! But now they have to fight those old pictures that people around them are holding onto. It takes time for new mental pictures to be developed, and we have to be patient and open enough to allow those around us to change.

(So for me, no more helicopter mothering...hover, hover, hover...and I will have to take some pictures out of my wallet...)