Old Pictures

I was looking at my baby on his birthday and wondered where the time has gone (he turned 10)! I know I still baby him in small ways that I shouldn't, like finishing his chores when they get halfway done and then forgotten, but I can't seem to let go of mothering him.

There's something about knowing a person for years that can make it really difficult to allow them to change. That can work for the good in some ways, like I don't even notice my husband's increasing grays (he tells me they are there, but I really don't notice them), but I think this easy acceptance mostly hurts relationships.

I think of the person I was 10 years ago and believe me, I thank GOD I am no longer that person! I am wiser, more confident, and more experienced than I was then and I wouldn't want to go back for anything (even for the 50 fewer pounds, before the pregnancy). But sometimes I think people still see that young woman and expect less from me than I can really offer. Then I deliver less and how can I live up to the fullness of my potential that way?

It can work the other way too, with my own perspective skewed. I especially see this with the teens I work with. The teenager is so suddenly different from who they were just a year ago, with different drives, different goals, different friends, different emotions (and different bodies!) that it can be nearly impossible to keep up with the changes. Not only that, but parents can get reminiscent and desire to keep their little ones little. (Perhaps with persistent mothering...) They fail to see the changes that occur. My dad carried a picture of me when I was three until I was a senior in high school. (I think I was the one who finally took it out!)

So carrying an old mental photograph of someone doesn't allow them room to grow or to be different from who they used to be. It can work in salvation too. When someone belongs to Jesus, all of a sudden they are new, all the old is gone! But now they have to fight those old pictures that people around them are holding onto. It takes time for new mental pictures to be developed, and we have to be patient and open enough to allow those around us to change.

(So for me, no more helicopter mothering...hover, hover, hover...and I will have to take some pictures out of my wallet...)