Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dreaming Again

What does it mean when you've had a set-aside dream resurrected?

Ever since I was young, I have dreamed of being a published writer. Reality set in, choices were made, and while I have never regretted being a full-time mom, devoted wife, and youth pastor alongside my husband, I have never buried that dream. I always figured it would be for that wondrous someday, that far-off undefined time when life offers up the freedom in my schedule I would need for something that seems like a fun option. But it has really started gnawing on my heart and mind these last few weeks in such a way that I think NOW might be the time, even though time hasn't changed. I'm still busy with all those other things that I still feel should come first. So what has changed?

I think sometimes we are tested to see how much we REALLY want to fulfill the dreams of our youth. Are we going to cling to them, truly holding on for the someday, or are we going to let them slip away and die, reminiscing only in the wisp of an idea of what I could have done? Some people, the ones I can really admire, have such singlemindedness that they live their entire lives in the fulfillment of the dream. For me it wasn't practical - I'm not convinced I am talented enough to have made a career out of writing. It was too uncertain for me to strive for it in that way. Bravo to those who can! But now I feel the old dream resurfacing...and I can feel the same excitement with an added measure of maturity.

I think that's what I was waiting for...the maturity and confidence that comes with a few extra years of experience.