Hidden

So, big question...as a mom of tweenagers, where do I draw the line between the quest to fulfill my dreams and the journey to raise my kids? I am not a great multi-tasker (I know, most moms are, but I was not blessed with that talent). I need focus or nothing will ever be fully accomplished (like dinner - distract me and I will forget to even start the side dishes until the entree is on the table!) So I have been focusing on being a mom. I stay home with them, we have chosen to homeschool them (at least for now), and making sure they are growing into responsible adults has been my main goal and purpose for living since they were conceived. I make mistakes (more distractions!) but they are good kids, so something is going right.

But just the other day my husband asked me why I wasn't pursuing my dream of writing. Well, duh, I said (so eloquently) I am busy with the current goal of making sure they stay alive until adulthood. They need food and clothes and someone to take away the hammer when they threaten to use it on each other. But, he so wisely points out, GOD has called and gifted you for more than just that. True, HE has. But I have been content working at this job. After all, it is a temp job. I will have time for my dreams when it is accomplished. And even Jesus had His hidden years.

We know a little about HIS childhood. We see HIM again at twelve. Then HE is hidden until HE is about thirty, when HIS ministry begins in full. HIS dreams, HIS purpose...they were put on pause, even though HE thought HE was ready, because it wasn't the right time (and maybe even because HIS mom wasn't quite ready to let go). But when HE begins, it's HIS mom who sets it all up and the time is right. (Moms can be very influential). HIS hidden years are over.

So I am waiting. I am working, and I am learning in these, my hidden years. I don't feel as though they are wasted, and I am looking forward to a writing career, something I can focus on more fully when my kids are fully grown, living dreams of their own. That way there is no division of my time or attentions, and I can be the best mom, then the best writer, I can be without the tug of war of neglect.

Besides, what better fodder for writing than the antics of kids?