Small Steps, Big Steps

Okay so I've made a few plans to improve myself. (I am hearing laughter in the back of my mind already.) But seriously, I picked six main areas to improve, but that proved to be way too much to do all at once. So I broke it down into baby steps. My baby steps were simple: pray each night for the kiddos while they were still awake enough to hear it, write a budget and try to follow it (not expecting perfection right out of the gate here either) and to become a more organized person by making sure the dishes were done before bed every night. Ahhh...such good intentions! The minute I set these goals, they weren't enough. I needed to do something about my weight, take classes to better my mind (please!), join a group to help me stay on all these tasks (by adding more tasks...really?) and now even my family is adding a few suggestions. "Mom, you should make a menu for all the dinners we'll eat each month - maybe even give us choices every night!" "Let's have a bake sale! Mom, you want to make four hundred dozen cookies, right?" Are you kidding me! Sheesh!

I really don't need help finding the many areas I need to improve. Truly. I find them all by myself. That makes it so hard to stick with just the three I've chosen, especially on those days when I feel like I'm letting everyone else down. Such a curse, being a people-pleaser.

But I've learned (and am re-learning daily) that there is only One I need to please. And I love that HE knows me so well that HE is never disappointed in me. Disappointment comes from unmet expectations - since HE knows exactly what I am going to do, HE never expects anything other than what I am going to do, therefore there's no disappointment. HE loves me as I am right now and loves me too much to let me stay that way.

I like the example of a kid on the playground. You watch your child and love him dearly as he's going down the slide. You love him while he's swinging back and forth. You love him while he's playing in the sand. And when he puts the sand in his mouth, well, you still love him, but you never let him stay that way.

So I've stopped at my three little baby steps. Any more is too much right now. But I'm not staying at these three baby steps. Once I have managed to make them habits, then I will take another bite out of my self-improvement list - the steps will be bigger, maybe even try four instead of just three this time. The point is, I'm on my way. I'm not staying in place, but I am moving forward, small steps for now, but the potential for bigger steps is unlimited. And I will do this to please the only One that matters.