This week Jennifer made the decision to open up her personal life and reveal that she is a lesbian. Not only that, but she is in a relationship (with a woman, duh!) and has been for several years. My first reaction? My heart broke. I wanted to cry. I have enjoyed her music since her first album and this felt like a betrayal, like I had never even known her (crazy, because I didn't - I just thought I did because of her beautiful and powerful lyrics and melodies). I felt like I had lost a friend.
So I talked to my husband. He was shocked as well, but being a man and my rock on earth, he was less emotional. We talked a lot, especially about whether or not GOD would still be able to use her - she is sooo gifted!!! We talked about how far GOD's grace would reach before HIS holiness prevented contact. We didn't come up with many answers.
So reading in Romans last night, I think I got a greater inkling into GOD's great grace. Romans 14 says this (NCV) "Accept into your group one who is weak in faith, and do not argue about opinions. One person believes it is right to eat all kinds of food. But another, who is weak, believes it is right to eat only vegetables. The one who knows that it is right to eat any kind of food must not reject the one who eats only vegetables. And the person who eats only vegetables must not think that the one who eats all foods is wrong, because GOD has accepted that person."
GOD's acceptance reaches beyond the rules. So should mine. So when my friend says she is gay and lives that lifestyle without repentance, I will choose to accept her and love her. It is for her and her Lord to figure it out, without judgment from me. (HE accepts me despite my gossiping tongue and my nearly gluttonous love of chocolate.)
I believe Jennifer still loves GOD and respects her fans. I know this because she has an album out next month and news like this could kill her sales from her Christian fans. But she didn't want them to find out later and have it affect how loudly they sing along with her music. She didn't want them to feel deceived or to question her motives.
So I still love Jennifer. I can only imagine the struggle she grapples with, even now, after the news has come out. I see her courage on a whole new level. I may not agree with the spiritual rules she lives by, but I will choose not to judge. I choose instead to love and accept her the way that GOD has asked.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
My Bangs Look Good - Soooo GOOD!
First off, let me say I read this book with really high expectations. I follow Susanna's blog faithfully (it's on my home page) and her insight and humor have always brightened my heart. So when I received a copy of her book "My Bangs Look Good & Other Lies I Tell Myself," I couldn't wait to open it up and devour every word! I sat right down (okay, I made a cup of coffee and grabbed a cookie too - alright, two cookies!)
But then I couldn't get past the first chapter!
The truth that was in the very first pages hit my heart is such a deep and meaningful way that I had to set it down and digest what I had just read. Then I read that first chapter again (before I even peeked at the second chapter). Again, I laughed and cried (within minutes of each other) - confusing my kids, scaring the cats, and making my husband mutter something I didn't quite catch as he left the room.
The rest of the book was much the same. I couldn't get very far before I had to take a pause and reflect. Each chapter addresses a lie that we as Christian women (and tired supergirls!) sometimes fall for, even live by. Now I have been a Christian for (dare I saw it?) decades now and a youth pastor with my husband for nearly 15 years. I figured if I didn't have it ALL together, at least I had enough going right for me that I wasn't a total mess up and wasn't leading anyone in the wrong direction. And yet this book revealed some lies that I was totally snared by!
I am glad to say that I wasn't falling for every lie this book exposes (YAY!). But even those chapters that didn't address something I struggled with were still full of truth and wisdom (and funny, relatable stories!). Susanna's writing style is easy to follow and this book is witty, amusing, insightful, heartfelt, and feels like you're having coffee with your best girlfriend. (I guess it helps if you have coffee and cookies while you're reading it). You will laugh out loud (so I don't recommend reading it on a bus or subway) and you will probably shed a few tears as well (so keep that in mind when reading near your husband).
This is a wonderful book and you will want to have a copy for yourself so you can read it over and over again, and then you'll also want a copy to share with friends so you can all discuss it over coffee and cookies (I see a theme already!)
"My Bangs Look Good & Other Lies I Tell Myself" by Susanna Foth Aughtmon
"Available now at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group."
Or to find the book on Amazon click here: http://www.tinyurl.com/goodbangs
And click here to find Susanna's amazing blog "Confessions of a Tired Supergirl": http://tiredsupergirl.blogspot.com/
But then I couldn't get past the first chapter!
The truth that was in the very first pages hit my heart is such a deep and meaningful way that I had to set it down and digest what I had just read. Then I read that first chapter again (before I even peeked at the second chapter). Again, I laughed and cried (within minutes of each other) - confusing my kids, scaring the cats, and making my husband mutter something I didn't quite catch as he left the room.
The rest of the book was much the same. I couldn't get very far before I had to take a pause and reflect. Each chapter addresses a lie that we as Christian women (and tired supergirls!) sometimes fall for, even live by. Now I have been a Christian for (dare I saw it?) decades now and a youth pastor with my husband for nearly 15 years. I figured if I didn't have it ALL together, at least I had enough going right for me that I wasn't a total mess up and wasn't leading anyone in the wrong direction. And yet this book revealed some lies that I was totally snared by!
I am glad to say that I wasn't falling for every lie this book exposes (YAY!). But even those chapters that didn't address something I struggled with were still full of truth and wisdom (and funny, relatable stories!). Susanna's writing style is easy to follow and this book is witty, amusing, insightful, heartfelt, and feels like you're having coffee with your best girlfriend. (I guess it helps if you have coffee and cookies while you're reading it). You will laugh out loud (so I don't recommend reading it on a bus or subway) and you will probably shed a few tears as well (so keep that in mind when reading near your husband).
This is a wonderful book and you will want to have a copy for yourself so you can read it over and over again, and then you'll also want a copy to share with friends so you can all discuss it over coffee and cookies (I see a theme already!)
"My Bangs Look Good & Other Lies I Tell Myself" by Susanna Foth Aughtmon
"Available now at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group."
Or to find the book on Amazon click here: http://www.tinyurl.com/goodbangs
And click here to find Susanna's amazing blog "Confessions of a Tired Supergirl": http://tiredsupergirl.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Put On Your Grace Face
WOW! I just got back from a conference near Seattle, WA and it was amazzzing! I was blessed to see teens worship GOD with excited enthusiasm and an almost reckless abandon. The teens we brought with us were so touched and inspired to speak more about Jesus and HIS great grace. Jealous yet?
Here's the scoop - we were taught by a man who has prostitues and strippers at every service (his church is in Las Vegas) and guess what? THEY FEEL WELCOME THERE!! Why? - because Jesus is the embodiment of grace. HIS best friends were fishermen (and y'all know most anglers are great liars!) and tax collectors and sinners. HE was followed by protitutes too, and they loved HIM. The question to ask is not why Jesus hung out with them but why did they hang out with HIM?
Simply put, that's the grace of GOD.
GOD is a holy GOD. HE cannot be in the sight of sin and cannot even look on it. But Jesus, as a human, could. HE shows us the grace that balances the justice that gives us the complete picture of GOD.
As the church Jesus trained and left behind on earth, it's our job to continue showing that grace to every person who needs to see it (that's everyone, right?) Welcome them to church. Sit next to them, no matter how bad they smell. And when they inform that they still sin, you can tell them what the Bible says and love them through it all, even when you don't see them changing anything. It's NOT your job to make them quit sinning. GOD alone has that power.
So this weekend I learned a lot about GOD's grace. We judge so easily and mete out GOD's justice readily, but what we really need to hand out is the same thing we all need the most - HIS unending grace.
Here's the scoop - we were taught by a man who has prostitues and strippers at every service (his church is in Las Vegas) and guess what? THEY FEEL WELCOME THERE!! Why? - because Jesus is the embodiment of grace. HIS best friends were fishermen (and y'all know most anglers are great liars!) and tax collectors and sinners. HE was followed by protitutes too, and they loved HIM. The question to ask is not why Jesus hung out with them but why did they hang out with HIM?
Simply put, that's the grace of GOD.
GOD is a holy GOD. HE cannot be in the sight of sin and cannot even look on it. But Jesus, as a human, could. HE shows us the grace that balances the justice that gives us the complete picture of GOD.
As the church Jesus trained and left behind on earth, it's our job to continue showing that grace to every person who needs to see it (that's everyone, right?) Welcome them to church. Sit next to them, no matter how bad they smell. And when they inform that they still sin, you can tell them what the Bible says and love them through it all, even when you don't see them changing anything. It's NOT your job to make them quit sinning. GOD alone has that power.
So this weekend I learned a lot about GOD's grace. We judge so easily and mete out GOD's justice readily, but what we really need to hand out is the same thing we all need the most - HIS unending grace.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
To Save A Life - Movie Review
We heard about the movie "To Save A Life" from our pastor who wanted us to check it out and see if it would be appropriate for our teenagers (it has a PG-13 rating that he was a little worried about). We read a lot of reviews about it online and decided we'd go for it. We invited our teenagers to it on a Saturday, and liked it so much we invited the entire church to go the following Wednesday.
I personally feel this movie is a must see for anyone who has anything to do with teenagers in any aspect of their lives. I think this will help in understanding what teens go through, the things they face every day at school, the issues they deal with, the way they think about things, and what they really want from us - it's not what you would probably think.
Aside from what we could learn from this movie, there's also the entertainment factor - this was a good movie to watch. It was engaging: I laughed, I cried, I felt the extreme emotions our teens face. It wasn't a cheesy movie and it wasn't preachy at all. Yes, there are scenes in which our characters have something to learn, but the script stays away from sounding like a Sunday morning sermon.
This is a movie I will definitely buy when it comes out on video.
Confession Time
It's time for me to admit something that is getting harder and harder to conceal.
I cry - A LOT!!!
This affliction seems laughable (which can also trigger the waterworks) but it has caused a lot of confusion in my family. My husband can say something hurtful or something uplifting and is really perplexed when he sees the same reaction running down my cheeks. My tender-hearted children walk into the living room just after a touching commercial and look around in confusion as they try to figure out what made Mom so sad.
It's getting a little easier for them as they understand me a little more. Watching one of those really heartfelt animated flicks, my son yelled across the room "you can quit crying now, Mom!" when the scene departed from the poignant. He's 8.
But the thing I find most interesting is the change that has come over my husband. When we married 13 years ago, he knew I was a softie (although the actual depth of my tenderness was still a mystery) and he was my warrior (which, interestingly enough, is what his name actually means). He's strong, inside and out, but lately, he's been crying even more than I have. (Okay, that was an exaggeration, but he has welled up much more frequently than our first year of marriage.)
This tells me a lot about tears.
So I confess, I cry, I sob, I well-up, and I rest, cleanse, and strengthen my soul.
I cry.
I cry - A LOT!!!
This affliction seems laughable (which can also trigger the waterworks) but it has caused a lot of confusion in my family. My husband can say something hurtful or something uplifting and is really perplexed when he sees the same reaction running down my cheeks. My tender-hearted children walk into the living room just after a touching commercial and look around in confusion as they try to figure out what made Mom so sad.
It's getting a little easier for them as they understand me a little more. Watching one of those really heartfelt animated flicks, my son yelled across the room "you can quit crying now, Mom!" when the scene departed from the poignant. He's 8.
But the thing I find most interesting is the change that has come over my husband. When we married 13 years ago, he knew I was a softie (although the actual depth of my tenderness was still a mystery) and he was my warrior (which, interestingly enough, is what his name actually means). He's strong, inside and out, but lately, he's been crying even more than I have. (Okay, that was an exaggeration, but he has welled up much more frequently than our first year of marriage.)
This tells me a lot about tears.
- My strong man has only gotten stronger, and yet he cries more - there is strength in tears.
- Tears are a release and an outlet - crying can therefore be a time of cleansing.
- My husband cries more and has his guard up less - tears can be a sign of comfort and rest.
- Even laughter can cause the tears to fall - joy and pain can have a relationship in the depths of our hearts.
So I confess, I cry, I sob, I well-up, and I rest, cleanse, and strengthen my soul.
I cry.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Humor-us
I have three kids.
They bicker. They fight.
They also work together to accomplish amazing feats of fort construction.
But during one heated bicker-match, they got really mad.
Until...
My son looked his older sister in the eye and said, "If you're going to hit me, hit me in a GOD-ly way."
His sister was too busy giggling as she tried to figure that one out to actually hurt anyone.
Thank GOD for humor!
They bicker. They fight.
They also work together to accomplish amazing feats of fort construction.
But during one heated bicker-match, they got really mad.
Until...
My son looked his older sister in the eye and said, "If you're going to hit me, hit me in a GOD-ly way."
His sister was too busy giggling as she tried to figure that one out to actually hurt anyone.
Thank GOD for humor!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Safe Keeping
Never let it be said that a woman who has a way with words can't be speechless.
However, that woman is not me.
Matthew West recently requested that people submit their stories to inspire songs for his next album. He wants it to be all about our stories. I didn't submit a word. It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say, it was because it had a 500 word limit!
Okay, okay, that wasn't the reason (but it made you laugh, admit it!) I really didn't have a whole lot to say. GOD's main work in me has been quiet, and behind the scenes. I've never parted the Red Sea, never fed thousands, and never spoken to multitudes. I haven't overcome addiction, left an abusive relationship, nor have I even worked in a soup line. I applaud those who do. I celebrate them. I rejoice with their victories and weep with their sorrows. But my own story? It's a bit more mundane.
My husband loves my story. He says it is one of the most powerful stories about what GOD is capable of doing in a person's life. (I love my husband - he's wonderful!) This is a man who overcame an abusive childhood, struggled with drugs and alcohol, and still preaches about GOD's hope and saving power to teenagers every week. And he likes my story - a story about the keeping power of GOD.
I had a mom who taught me to pray before I even learned to read. I had neighbors who taught me faithfulness every week when they gave me rides to church. I had friends who thought drugs and alcohol were a waste of time. And I served a GOD who has always had big plans for me. I never had to overcome, I never struggled with self-forgiveness, and never strayed far from the straight and narrow. I knew GOD at such an early age and HE kept me from so many situations and temptations that my story is almost a little boring to me. But it's fascinating to my husband. He finds it beyond amazing that I have never been drunk. He loves that he is the only man I have ever given myself to. He laughs when I tell him I have no idea what 'weed' looks like. But that's the keeping power of GOD - HE kept me out of those situations that could prove to be traps or snares.
Not the making's of a great story, I'm the first to admit it. But it's pretty cool what our GOD can do - HE can make the way straight and remove stumbling blocks. HE can help us avoid the pitfalls and snares. HE made a plan an eternity ago and decided then that HE would rather die than live without us. HE makes a way, whether it's by keeping us out of trouble or scooping us out of trouble.
So I may not have a lot to say about my own story, nothing there to really write a song about (Matthew), but I can talk for ages about the keeping and saving power of GOD.
However, that woman is not me.
Matthew West recently requested that people submit their stories to inspire songs for his next album. He wants it to be all about our stories. I didn't submit a word. It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say, it was because it had a 500 word limit!
Okay, okay, that wasn't the reason (but it made you laugh, admit it!) I really didn't have a whole lot to say. GOD's main work in me has been quiet, and behind the scenes. I've never parted the Red Sea, never fed thousands, and never spoken to multitudes. I haven't overcome addiction, left an abusive relationship, nor have I even worked in a soup line. I applaud those who do. I celebrate them. I rejoice with their victories and weep with their sorrows. But my own story? It's a bit more mundane.
My husband loves my story. He says it is one of the most powerful stories about what GOD is capable of doing in a person's life. (I love my husband - he's wonderful!) This is a man who overcame an abusive childhood, struggled with drugs and alcohol, and still preaches about GOD's hope and saving power to teenagers every week. And he likes my story - a story about the keeping power of GOD.
I had a mom who taught me to pray before I even learned to read. I had neighbors who taught me faithfulness every week when they gave me rides to church. I had friends who thought drugs and alcohol were a waste of time. And I served a GOD who has always had big plans for me. I never had to overcome, I never struggled with self-forgiveness, and never strayed far from the straight and narrow. I knew GOD at such an early age and HE kept me from so many situations and temptations that my story is almost a little boring to me. But it's fascinating to my husband. He finds it beyond amazing that I have never been drunk. He loves that he is the only man I have ever given myself to. He laughs when I tell him I have no idea what 'weed' looks like. But that's the keeping power of GOD - HE kept me out of those situations that could prove to be traps or snares.
Not the making's of a great story, I'm the first to admit it. But it's pretty cool what our GOD can do - HE can make the way straight and remove stumbling blocks. HE can help us avoid the pitfalls and snares. HE made a plan an eternity ago and decided then that HE would rather die than live without us. HE makes a way, whether it's by keeping us out of trouble or scooping us out of trouble.
So I may not have a lot to say about my own story, nothing there to really write a song about (Matthew), but I can talk for ages about the keeping and saving power of GOD.
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