Job's Wife

Oh, what a bad rap the wife of Job has gotten! Imagine if you were judged solely on one sentence uttered at the worst moment of your life.  Yeah, me too...I don't want to even think about that.  I  admit, I was totally harsh in my thinking of her too...when she told her husband to curse GOD and die, I still cringe at the cruelty of it. But I have been thinking about her a lot, attempting to understand, not judge, and trying on her shoes a bit.  I have gained a few insights...

1.   She was not one of the blessings GOD allowed to be taken from Job.  Whether it was because she wasn't a blessing to Job or because GOD had a plan for her too (perhaps involved in restoring children to Job), she was there by his side when the worst came in force.  To me, she was just another attack on Job, telling him to basically give up and die already.  There was no support in that comment.  No compassion.  And yet, I had to remember...

2.   She lost everything Job did.  She lost her wealth.  She lost her children.  She lost servants she had probably known for years.  She was drowning in her own grief before Job got sick. She probably had very little emotional health left to give by the time his sores appeared.  And then to heap sorrow on top of sorrow...

3.   In her grief she also played nurse to a very sick husband.  She was there when Job was struck with sores.  She probably had to help scrape the boils he couldn't reach, listening to his cries of pain while she was doing it.  Her heart probably heard her children screaming with every cry or moan from her husband.  I imagine she reached a breaking point, grieved even unto death, where dying became a viable option of relief from current pain...

4.   She might have believed the rumors...Job's own friends came to the conclusion that he deserved what he got because there was some sort of sin in his life.  Maybe in seeking understanding in the midst of her tragedy, she fell in line with those thoughts.  They could have led her to blame him for her losses, to wanting his death as justice for the lives his 'sin' caused. 

5.   She wasn't part of the conversation.  She didn't hear the questions.  She didn't hear the protests of innocence.  And she didn't hear GOD's response (at least, we don't see her having any part of it.)  Without being in the discussion, she didn't get any GOD answers and all of her conclusions were hers alone.  Not the best situation when your mind is so swayed by grief.  And yet...

6.   She was part of the redemption.  The end of the story sees complete restoration for Job and his wife.  And that includes more children.  Now it doesn't make any sense to say that one child can replace another...it isn't that simple.  But where Job's wife is concerned, she had part in bringing those children into the world.  She had a role to fulfill in the completion of GOD's work.  She got to bring life to a place where there had been so much death.  And I like to think coming full circle like that, laboring in delivery of heart and womb, she came to a place of trust.

So this woman who is never named, who is often quickly judged, has a story.  These are just a few small points to ponder, but I still wonder.  What do you think about Mrs. Job, her story, and her motivations?  She was human, after all, and I am always astounded by the depth of the human soul.  Her story may bear a closer look after all.

Remembering The Light

You know, sometimes during worship you start singing one of those really old songs (not quite a hymn, but from maybe the eighties) and the thought goes through your mind, "Wow, this is old! I can't imagine GOD being able to speak through this one anymore...how lame."  No?  Just me?  Okay...

Well that was me this morning during one of our songs.  Sing it with me...

"Thy Word is a Lamp unto my feet
and a light unto my path..."

I mean, King James English?  Really?  How could that truly resonate with anything GOD would be trying to do now?  (I know, I am a bit of a worship snob)

The thing is...it did.  It really touched my heart.

Because while singing those words, GOD spoke.  "MY Word, Katy.  Have you forgotten?  Why do you think you are stumbling around with your purpose?  Why do you act so afraid of what is unknown to you?  MY Word is your light, and just because you know it doesn't mean you are still using it.  The memory of what light is isn't enough to light the path ahead. You need light every day for every part of the journey."

And during that moment, properly chastised by my loving Father, I felt tears make their way down my cheeks...(and maybe a few stares from other worship snobs wondering what they were missing).

HIS Word.  HIS Light.  My path.  HE chooses not only to walk it with me, but to show me what I need to see at any given step.  I know why HE doesn't show me the whole journey...HE knows I would quit before I started, overwhelmed by the immensity of what I could never fathom I would do.  HE shows me bits at a time, and I struggle through my steps until the next part is shown.  This way my trust on HIM grows.  The times of greatest struggle were times I was stumbling in the dark, Wordless...

But I know the Light (in this case, the Word of GOD).  I have read it, memorized parts, meditated on it, quote it, and cherish it.  I may go a few weeks without without actually delving in to my Word, but I listen to people teach about it.  I even teach from it myself.  Why the worry then?  I know the Word.

Let's, for just a moment, pretend the Word is a flashlight we have on a camping trip.  We have seen the light.  We know what it does and how to use it.  We teach others about it and show them how to use it.  We know how important it is and how it can save us from trouble.  But in the middle of the night when you have to walk alone, that knowledge isn't going to help much.  Remembering what the light looked like, recalling how it worked, even reciting portions of the manual aren't the same as actually shining the light on your path.

GOD, help me to keep Your Word on my path, lighting the way.  Help me to hunger for it, to crave it, to make time for it.  Remind me that it is a living Word, filled with Your breath, fresh and alive every day.

Your Word is a lamp for my feet to follow, a light to the path I walk.  Thank You for the reminder in a song You inspired by Your Light.

(For a really great short devotional about Lighting Your World, check out Thistlebend Ministries at www.thistlebendministries.org or download the YouVersion Bible app and search their Bible plans for Lighting Your World.)

Wow...

I thought about writing a poem pondering the cost of what Jesus went through on the cross. I only had the barest of inklings before I nearly heard GOD say "No. Don't even try. There are no words."

Guess that's that.
(Thank You Jesus)

The Way We Treat Our Men

Watching an episode of the latest sitcom I was really disturbed at the way the man of the show was depicted. He was the butt of 90% of the jokes and so disrespected by his wife and kids. Then during the commercial break, I saw the same thing portrayed...supermom had to clean up what incompetent dad messed up. Even on Facebook we see the posts...when did this happen?

I used to watch shows like Leave It To Beaver, in which dad was respected and seen as wise. Even the Brady Bunch...you never saw anyone badmouth the ex-husband. There was more respect then, and that was right in the middle of the women's lib movement.

When did we decide that to be free of men we had to belittle them? When did we decide our men should be put down on a regular basis? We are no more than bullies if we are putting them down in order to lift ourselves up.

Do you ever wonder if men leave children behind because we made them think we could do better without them? I think we have proven that as a society, we can't. Fathers play a major role in the welfare, development, and behavior of our children.  Fathers give up so much to love, support, and nurture and because we don't acknowledge their sacrifices, they have not only become neglected, but something to jest.

Our culture needs another shift - a shift towards respecting our husbands, our men, and letting them know we need them.  Yes, it may mean coming under leadership when we yearn for freedom and independence, but when two work together to raise a family, they are strong her and better than they would be if alone.

Submission

Submission is such a tough word for women to hear. It really has gotten a bad rap and I think part of that is because its meaning has come so far from what it is supposed to describe. And it isn't just younger women who struggle with this concept either. Women just starting out in marriage and women in their 60's and 70's struggle to keep their hearts submitted to their husbands. Each stage in life brings out a new facet of submission. 

With such a universal struggle in such a women's lib culture, where can we go to get some really GOD-ly examples to apply to real life? 

 Enter a surprised Candace Cameron Bure and an interview she gave about her new book...

 

Candace Cameron Bure describes the idea of submission in a way that had me nodding.

I think she did a great job dispelling some of the myths that are out there concerning Christian thoughts about the way wives submit to their husbands. She even touched on a point that made me examine the relationship between husbands and wives a little deeper...she mentioned what her husband had to be willing to sacrifice - his life!  

In Ephesians 5 we see the charge Paul gives to husbands and wives...there are three verses alone describing how deeply wives should submit to their husbands. The chapter finishes describing in the next nine verses how husbands should be willing to lay their lives down for their wives as Christ did for the church. There is more responsibility on their heads for the state of the marriage relationship than there is for women. That's because they are leaders for the entire family. We as women lay down our pride and the need to be right. Our men lay down their lives.

I think part of the problem is the way Submissive translates so easily into Dominated. NOT THE SAME THING!!! It takes such a strength of character to lay down your right to your opinion in order to show respect to your husband and maintain peace in the home. No one who is dominated has the strength to voluntarily do that. They work out of fear and that's different. 

 I love being submitted to my husband. I strongly encourage women everywhere to try it! Husbands respond so positively to a wife who lets him lead. They feel respected. That translates into loved for them. If you have a problem in your marriage, try submitting instead of nagging...the results will amaze you. And that's because GOD designed it to be that way.

Friend of GOD

Jesus called me HIS friend!!!!  So why does that scare me?

In John 15:15 HE calls me friend.  I read the verse again just yesterday.  The part that really stuck with me was this..."No longer do I call you servants...but I have called you friends".

So what is the difference between a servant and a friend?  I am comfortable with calling myself a servant of GOD.  I know what that means and I know what that looks like.  HE asks me to do something and I do it.  I owe HIM so much, even my life, that I consider it an honor to live to serve HIM!

But HE calls me friend...and I am struggling with that shift in our relationship.  It means so much to HIM that I do things for HIM because I want to.  HE would rather I obey because I love HIM rather than because I owe HIM.  HE calls me friend to let me know that HE doesn't see me as a robot to be mindlessly obedient, but as a human with a heart and mind, full of opinions HE designed for me to have, and I don't always have to agree.  HE wants to let me know that I only have to ask HIM and I can be privy to the secrets of eternity, the smell of the universe, and the heart of the Father.  Servants aren't in on the Master's plans...but friends are...

Friendships are also harder to maintain than jobs.  It takes committment to each other, time spent with each other, hearts covering each other.  Jesus calls me friend because HE wants to spend time with me, not just dismiss me when the job is done.  I have heard that the best servants are the ones you never have to see; they just do their job and get out of the way, but HE wants to share HIS heart with me, and hear mine in return.  That takes time being spent together, listening to each other.  Friendship goes much deeper that simple servanthood.

Mistakes also mean more when they happen in a friendship than when they are done by a servant.  I mess up as a servant, there will be discipline and no hard feelings. Make a mistake in your friendships, well,  that's a whole lot more personal.  There will be broken hearts and lingering hurts.  Yes, friends forgive, but I don't want to be the one hurting HIM in the first place.  I've done that enough already! 

So it takes a risk to be a friend.  And when that friend is as big as Jesus, that's a lot of risk!

I guess I figured out why I am incredibly humbled and more than a little intimidated by being called HIS friend.  Being a friend of Jesus is going to be a lot harder than being HIS servant, but I want it!  I want that kind of relationship with HIM!  

Not Allowed To Give Up

At a Bible study the other day, conversation shifted (as it sometimes will when a bunch of ladies get together over a table with coffee) to the subject of families.

  As all families go, even those who follow GOD, we all know people who struggle in life and who have stirred the drama pot.  Alcohol, drugs, abuse, greed, selfishness, manipulations...the list could go on for a while.  The question arose 'When do we just give up on them?'  My quick answer was 'We don't.  We aren't allowed to.'

I went on to explain a little.  Of course, GOD gives us a choice to obey HIM or not.  When HE says pray, we can say no.  When HE says forgive, we can say not yet.  After all, we are all works in progress and I know I don't give HIM the perfect response every time.  But I know HE never gave up on me.  Therefore I don't feel I have the right to give up on anyone else either.

So we read 1 Timothy 1.  The very last verse talks about turning two men over to satan so they may learn a lesson.  The ladies said, 'So we have an example of letting them go.'  I couldn't deny it. 

I see the benefit of letting go.  It can be a battle to keep hurtful loved ones close.  It can be expensive in many ways, not just to the pocketbooks, but to the emotions, to rest, to peace.  Letting them go down the path of their choice puts them in a place where they have to face the consequences of their own decisions on their own.  Sometimes walking through the fire can do more to fix a person than being rescued from the flames.  I get that.

But that isn't the same as giving up on them.  Here's an example from my own life:

My father-in-law has been in and out of our lives for my whole marriage (nearly 17 years).  For the last four, he was out because he asked to be.  It was a hurtful parting, he wasn't very nice about it, and I let go.  I took my husband's lead and said fine, we will live without him, we don't need the drama anyway.  The difference came two weeks ago when he called asking for forgiveness.  I had given up and didn't trust that he was genuinely changed by GOD.  My husband never gave up and has taken the open door to reconciliation.

By never giving up, we remain hopeful to the move of GOD's hand and open to accept it when it comes.  Giving up is a complete writing off of the power of GOD to change people and circumstances.

I found my answer in 1 Timothy 2.  The first verse, the one that comes right after it talks about giving them over to satan, says to pray for all men.  We let go so they can learn and we can have peace, but we can keep praying for GOD to move.

So my advice:  never give up.  Let go if necessary, but never give up.